Why is virginity so important? the first time i heard of sex as sex

The first time I found out that the way to consummate is through a man driving his shaft through the aperture of the woman's thigh was when I was in High School, over the phone.

Yeah, I was that dense, or maybe not just paying enough attention during Science Class.

I was in second and third year, my friend was appalled at me not knowing that that was the way babies made, or to put it in slang, "kajuk".

It was something a guy friend told my girlfriend. Moments of teasing led the guy to comment "Kajukin kita dyan e," if  remember it exactly. Curios, I asked what kajuk meant, and she in her house and me in mine, went ballistic and told me well what it was. Over the phone.

The telephone line shattered my premonition of innocent lovemaking.  My regards that kissing was sex had gone kaput. Okay, so that's why people need to get naked in the movies.

That friend of mine, eventually had her first kajuk a few years after, with a different guy.

why is it regarded as some prize, to men and women, both.

I never heard my mother say the word virginity, sex. I heard her say love, when she says I love you.

But why is it, we have a belief that being a virgin is sacred.

Maybe it was reinforced. My mother did never say those words, but there would be hints here and there. Like when a sex scene is being hsown, they wanted me out of the room, or to cover my eyes. Hints such as wagmong isuka ang bataan, and back when I was little I did not know what that meant instead of course as an allegory to World War II.

Now, in my late twenties, i heard one of my aunts use the wag mong suko ang bataan again. We were in a car, all ladies, my two sisters, my aunt and my mother.

One of my sister, being the only one of us involved in a romantic relationship, was asked again and again, if she had given up that part.

My mother pissed at my ever makulit na auntie, ordered her to stop it.

Is virginity about love or timing?

I have a guy friend, who does not turn away a girl's invitation on a first date but then afterwards the act, he pulls on a disappearing act.  You wouldn't be hearing from him again.

Women have all the control in sex. They can say no or yes. For example, if the woman says no, and the man is saying yes yes yes, then the act is no longer consensual, making it rape. This is what I am talking about control.

You can always say no, but why do we say yes. Yes to sex, and yes to losing your virginity.
Is it because of love or is it because of your libido?  When you think about it, how can you then trust your instincts if what it is telling you is love or lust?

I asked my bestfriend google, what made it so special. At first, I did not expect any clear answers, but then there were a few.

says one use named KHnofp7 "Virginity, in the classical context, meant simply a person's sense of self." and even put to context why a Van Gogh is more priceless than your neighbour's scribbles.

This reminded me of a short story back in college, if only I can remember the title. It's about princesses' first night as married women,  they would frame a part of the bedcovers that says that she was a virgin. Frame it and hang it somewhere in the caste. However there was one with no name and only a white sheet.