I Am Pretending That My Baby Is Adopted’

I Am Pretending That My Baby Is Adopted’ As told to ANA KRISTINE B. VALENZUELA Published MOD May 2010 THE first time that Mirdianne* learned that she was pregnant, she cried-but they were not tears of joy. At 28, Mirdianne was at that stage which many would consider the right age to have a baby. Also, she had a stable job working for the finance department of a retail company, so she could provide for her child. But she and Lito, an officemate who worked for the logistics department, were not ready for parenthood. They were just having fun, they succumbed to their passions, but they were careful... or so they thought. At first, Mirdianne noticed her menstruation skipping. But she didn’t bother about it because after all, she had an irregular pattern. But five months after, she still didn’t have that monthly visit. So she decided to have a home pregnancy test. The test turned out positive. She didn’t know how to tell Lito. Things were complicated. They weren’t formally a couple. People in the office didn’t even know that they were going out. Nevertheless, abortion did not cross her mind. Yet, she did not know what to do. So, she searched the Internet for answers. She found emotional support. The first person she told about her pregnancy was a pro-life minister, whom she met online. Later on, she found the courage to tell her mother and sister, who were both in the province. She went home and told them, but they decided to keep it first from the rest of the family, including her father. Their plan: she would live in a home for women in crisis until she gives birth. Then she will legally adopt her own baby. She will tell people that the baby belongs to a less fortunate woman and that she’s adopting the baby out of charity. Today, Mirdianne is one of the women housed at Grace To Be Born. She found a refuge in this non-government organization which helps women in crisis, especially giving shelter to pregnant women who do not want to resort to abortion. At Grace To Be Born, she is learning how to take care of babies by looking after babies of other women in the home. Now she has accepted her baby-a boy-wholeheartedly and plans to name him Samuel, a character from the Bible who was adopted by a priest. Things are still complicated with Lito, though. He still sends her text messages, but he doesn’t give any financial or emotional support, which Mirdianne is not hoping for anymore. Mirdianne is on maternity leave, even as her officemates still do not know who the father of her child is. She has to work to be able to provide for her baby, but she plans to look for a job in another company. “I will raise him up as my adopted child,” Mirdianne says of the baby she will deliver anytime soon. “But when the time comes that he can already understand, I will tell him the truth.” Note: *Although events in the story are true, names of places, persons, and some circumstances have been altered to protect the identity of those involved. Any similarity to actual names of places and persons, whether living or deceased, is purely coincidental.

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Sarah Geronimo: The Making of an Idol

By ANA KRISTINE B. VALENZUELA

Published MOD November 2010

SHE may seem like your typical demure girl, always smiling, answering questions—even controversial ones--in a gentle tone, but Sarah Geronimo has no qualms singing for an audience or acting out a scene in front of the camera.

“I’m not shy when I’m on stage–singing and dancing. That’s the time when I’m the most confident. That’s when I lose my inhibitions. I can do anything up on stage,” Sarah says.

Maybe that is why even at the start of her career, Sarah had already earned praises from big-named stars, seeing the potential in her at an early age.

Maricel Soriano her costar in her first film project, Filipinas, commented during the film’s promo tour, “That girl will go far. She’s only 14, right? For someone like Sarah na first time mag-pelikula, mahusay siya. Bibilib ka sa kanya. Maaaring ang ibang tao may iba pang expectations sa kanya, but for me, okay na okay siya.”

During Sarah’s 2005 solo concert, The Other Side, at the Araneta Colisuem, Regine Velasquez, Sarah’s idol, already crowned her not just as the pop princess but as the country’s pop queen, as she was able to match the Asia’s songbird’s belting power during their rendition of Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston songs. “Madaming tao ang nagmamahal sa 'yo at isa na ako duon na laging maasahan mo sa suporta," said Regine.

Indeed, Sarah has proven herself well to her peers as much as to her fans. To all this success, she credits her family.

Like with learning To Love You More, her winning piece in the Star for a Night singing search and which eventually became her signature hit. After an unfortunate incident, Sarah never wanted to belt out this piece. It was her father, Delfin, who pushed her to persevere on learning the tune. With enough determination, she sang the Celine Dion original and won the top prize in the contest.

Now, she continues to grow more as an artist, as she molds her acting prowess, working with actors who she knows she can learn from. She tells ABS-CBN.com, “As an individual na artist mas nakakapag-experiment ako to explore sa career and hindi ka nasa-stuck at hindi ka nakukulong sa isang kahon. Maganda na ganito. ”

In her latest prime time starrer, Idol, she is paired with Sam Milby and Coco Martin. The team-up seems to be growing on Sarah as she comments to ABS-CBN.com, “Pareho nga akong kinikilig sa kanila. Kapag ka-eksena ko si Sam may kilig, kay Coco iba din ‘yung kilig.”

She talks more fondly about her leading men to ABS-CBN.com. “Nakakusap ko na rin si Sam magkaibigan na rin kami. Alam ko kung gaano siya kabuting tao. Thankful ako na nagkaroon kami ng ganitong chance na magkatrabaho dito sa isang napakagandang proyekto. Masaya rin po katrabaho si Coco at minsan nga ang tawag ko sa kanya Direk Co kasi napaka-professional. Para siyang direktor."

With her versatility, noteworthy performances, platinum albums, sold-out concerts, and box-office movies to her name, Sarah reminds us that she is indeed a certified Idol.

Secrets, Secrets

Hair Care. “Siyempre bilang performer, napaka-importante how my hair looks. But with my hectic schedule hindi ako makapunta ng salon or makapagpa-treatment kaya I really need the best hair products available. With Sunsilk, my hair is softer and you can really see the difference from before Sabi ni Yuko (Yamashita, hair expert) i-avoid ko daw ang too much friction, like sobrang towel drying or even aggressive brushing, para laging smooth and straight ang hair ko.”

Money Management. “Ang laking tulong po ng Cebuana Lhuillier sa buhay ng pamilya ko noon. Nagsasangla si mommy before to tend to our expenses. Ngayon naman nandito ako para magbigay inspirasyon din sa ibang tao.”

Sexual Harassment: The Horror, the Horror

Sexual Harassment: The Horror, the Horror

By ANA KRISTINE B. VALENZUELA

Published MOD October 2010 Halloween Issue

IT might happen in school, in the office, or even at your home.

“Sexual harassment is any behaviour or verbal expression that one find offensive,” according to Dr. Genuina Ranoy of St. Luke’s Medical Center. “It depends on the perception of the person. For some people, it is not sexual harassment because okay lang na ginagawa yun.”

A simple act of putting one’s arm over the shoulder when it is inappropriate and makes one of the parties involved uncomfortable can be an act of harassment.

MOD Collection

Check the Signs

Behavioural. There are times that it might seem obvious, like one’s stare might make you feel uncomfortable or has the interpretation of sexual advances. Or one creates a situation wherein you would be uncomfortable. Sometimes the victim cannot say anything because the harasser’s position is higher.

Verbal. “One example is being called in some terms of endearment, or maybe in a way that has a sexual connotation and inappropriate for you. It would only be sexual harassment if you do not like it,” says Dr. Ranoy.

Actions. “If a guy touches your private parts and he says it’s accidental but for you its not, that’s sexual harassment,” says Dr. Ranoy.

How To Cope with Harassment:

Say it. Dr. Ranoy says that you really have to say what you feel, like “’You’re going beyond boundaries,” so that the person would know. Tell him, because some people are not even aware that they are harassing other people. “

File a complaint. “Tell the authorities,” advises Dr. Ranoy. “That way, they would look into what you are saying and have the proper venues to discuss it.”

Don’t feel guilty. “People often say that it is the victim’s fault, especially if she dresses in a sexy way. ‘It is their fault as they are inviting,’ harassers would often say,” says Dr. Ranoy. “No, it’s not your fault. Don’t feel guilty about it. You did not like what was done to you.”

Check yourself. “Check the way you behave. Certain verbal expressions may be seducing. Maybe unconsciously you are being seductive,” says Dr. Ranoy. “Especially if there is a pattern that wherever you go you are being sexually harassed, ask yourself why. It is not necessarily the way you dress up, but the behaviour also. People might think that to you it is okay because you are inviting.”

Rhian Ramos ‘Anything Is possible’

Rhian Ramos

‘Anything Is possible’

By ANA KRISTINE B. VALENZUELA

MOD OCtober 2010

WITH three regular shows on GMA-7—Illumina, Kaya ng Powers, and Party Pilipinas— it is amazing that Rhian Ramos manages to make time for herself and her friends.

She says she gets organized and manages her time with the help of her HTC Smart phone which acts as a social calendar and mini computer all in one device. “It really is different when they make the phone easy to use. Who cares about a phone if you can’t do anything with it? I’m not the most technologically savvy person, but I can do much with it,” Rhian says of her phone.

Carry-all. I’m a music lover, I like a phone that can carry music so hindi ako ‘yung type ng tao na maraming gadgets all at once. I don’t carry a bag, so I want everything in my phone. It is a camera, a music player, and a handy computer that I bring about just anywhere. My whole life is practically stored in here--my entire social life, work life, my schedule. I just pocket it with me and bring it anywhere. I cannot live home without my phone. One time umabot na ako ng Quezon City, and I live in Alabang, pinabalik ko talaga ‘yung kotse kasi buhay ko nga ito.

Accidents happen. I was on my way to a taping in Subic. I got lost. Then a car bumped the rear of my car. Thankfully, I was not hurt. That was it. The insurance will take care of it.

Aljur to the rescue. Aljur Abrenica always comes to my rescue when I am hungry. I need not say anything -- somehow he knows I am craving for something and he sends his driver with the food I am craving for. One time I bought four pieces of yema candies for myself. Aljur found out I like such candies so one time, when we were taping in Pampanga, he bought me a bag of yemas.

Anything is possible. Is there a possibility of anything romantic happening between Aljur and me? Anything is possible. But as much as possible, I focus more on my work. Hindi naman kami pumupunta ng taping para magligawan. But anything is possible. We do not know what might happen in the future. I don’t know if there will be anything with us. I’m not saying that there is, but I’m not saying that it is impossible.

It can happen to anybody. I just heard about what happened to Sarah Geronimo's dad -- you know, when a guy attempted to con him. It can happen to anybody. It's scary. I don't have bodyguards. when I need to get something from my car, I go get it myself. My mom often worries about me. Like I thought nothing of my recent car accident. But my mom, she was worried sick.

No gap. There were rumors that Marian Rivera and I have some gap. I don't think so. I haven't seen her since I guested on her show (Show Me Da Manny). Even when Dong (Dingdong Dantes) and I worked together (for Stairway to Heaven), Marian and I didn't see each other. She once said she was not jealous about Dong and I working together. So there--we didn’t have any gap.

Who's Afraid of Daiana Meneses?

Published MOD October 2010 Halloween Issue

By ANA KRISTINE B. VALENZUELA

She may be your next-door television aswang. But no need to be afraid of Daiana Menezes.

She's juts here to do what she likes to do, to pursue her dreams even after several rejections.

“I got declined many times. I got told by several agencies I was not their type,” says Daiana Menezes, relating her start as a model in her home country Brazil. “People didn’t really accept me as a model because I was too short compared to the average model in Brazil. I am only 5’7 and most of the models are 5’10.” But rejection somehow opened windows of opportunities for the Brazilian beauty.

Daiana found another audience. “There was this other agency which does international work and they got me for Thailand,” she says. The agency said her features-- rosy, white skin, and sharp nose--fit well for the Asian market. Thus, she began working as a model in several countries—Hong Kong, China, Singapore, South Korea, and Thailand. In 2006, she landed a shampoo commercial here in the Philippines.

“It was in 2007 that I decided I do not want to be modeling anymore. Adjust, get used to the place, and then leave--I got really tired of doing that. So when I got the chance to get a regular job here in the Philippines, I grabbed it. I love the country that’s why I decided to settle here. Eat Bulaga just came along,” she says, referring to the noon time show which made her popular.

She settled in Manila and had an easy time adjusting to the Philippine way of life. “Here in the Philippines, you have a mix of the Latin culture. You arealso kind of Americanized in a way, so it is easy for me to adjust here, ” says Daiana, adding that the Philippines is like Brazil in Asia. “I super feel at home. I could not even say na grabe ang traffic dito. Every country has its problems, ‘di ba?”

Apart from her hosting gig in Eat Bulaga, Daiana also plays as Vic Sotto’s leading lady in the TV5 sitcom Ang Darling Kong Aswang. She has nothing but praises for the comedian. “He is the most professional person I have ever worked with. He really knows when he has to joke, when he has to work,” she says. “Plus he doesn’t mix personal life with work. People don’t know that. People think that once you’re there, you’re going to get involved with him. No, it doesn’t work that way. He is such a professional guy on the set. Trabaho muna tayo.”

As for rumors that she’s the cause of a rift between lovebirds Vic and Pia Guanio, Daiana just look at them on a positive light. “I’m thankful about that issue because it will increase our ratings. Vic and I are just acting in the show but people think we are already having a relationship. So, wow, effective pala yung ginagawa namin sa show. I just take it as a compliment. Maybe people are thinking what we are doing is for real because we have good chemistry,” she says. “Plus, Pia is a good friend of mine. Pia was the one who recommended me to play the role of wife to Vic because she trusts me. We’re still friends.”

Daiana adds, “Vic teaches me a lot -- how to act, how to do the scene, position myself in front of the camera, every little detail -- which I think I wouldn’t learn if I was working with somebody else. He is a teacher.”

Even with all the intrigues, Daiana says that she doesn't miss anything back home, apart from her family.

“My dad, even if he was really well-off, he didn’t give me whatever I wanted. He made me work for it. That’s why when I first got here, I didn’t have a hard time working for what I wanted. Hindi naman mahirap. I’m used to taking a taxi for work. I make ipon. So I was able to buy two cars and my own place. In two and a half years, I have almost everything a 23-year-old person would want to achieve in life. So super blessed talaga ako,” she says.

Those agencies back home must be scratching their heads.

How to be a beautiful vamp

Do you work out?

I don’t go to the gym. I cannot afford to go to the gym because I have work and it wouldn’t be consistent and I’m tamad. I’m honestly really tamad to work out. But I control what I eat when I see that I’m gaining weight.

Beauty secrets?

The only thing I do is to remove my makeup before I sleep. Even if I get home really late and I’m so tired from work, I do that. And I really try to sleep, because if you get a good night’s sleep, you are going to look fresh the next day. But once you lose your sleep, you are going to lose years of your life.

Beauty regimen?

Water lang talaga. I remove my makeup with makeup remover. I use Dermaline soaps when I shower. I use their feminine wash. I’m Caucasian and our skin mature earlier than that of Asians. What I do is I go weekly to Dermaline and have my treatments there--facial masks and laser hair removal,

Beauty product you cannot live without?

I use Dermaline soaps a lot, like gluthathione soap. I would never leave home without mascara. Even if I don’t have any makeup on, you will always see my pilikmata--I make an effort to do so. I don’t even wear fake eyelashes. I really put on maraming mascara.

Who does your hair?

I’d rather do my hair than let a hairstylist do it because I know my hair better. Working as a model for five years has taught me how to fix my hair and do my makeup. I’m very particular with it, let me do it na lang. In Eat Bulaga, each of us do our own makeup. One time, when I was modeling for a fashion show, a hairstylist used an electric curler to curl my hair. But pinaso ako sa shoulders. I wanted to cry. So now, either I really know the hairstylist or I would just do my hairstyling.

Beauty Advice?

Don’t expose yourself to the sun without any sunblock, because you would get pimples, wrinkles, and freckles.

Beauty Boo-Boos you shouldn't commit

BOO!
By ANA KRISTINE B. VALENZUELA

Published in MOD OCrober 2010

UNDERWEAR creases? Oily skin? Wrong makeup color? How many times have you had these fashion and beauty errors?

Look, these mistakes are avoidable. Especially if you know what they are and you know how to prevent them. Bianca Valerio, model, makeup artist, and host of Lifestyle Channel’s FASH, shares common fashion and beauty slip-ups and how to steer clear of them.

Beauty Blunders

Oily all over. “Especially if you commute, you don’t want to look oily going on a date or to close a deal. We want freshness, we want matte freshness,” says Bianca. “One thing you should always have in your bag is oil film.”

Wrong shade. “For press powder, get your own shade,” presses Bianca as to avoid being too pale or too dark. “Mix your foundation with moisturizer to make it a tinted moisturizer. If you bought the wrong shade, buy your own shade, make plenty shades, and share them with a friend.”

Color coding. “The most basic thing to remember if you are going for a dark eye, go for light lips. For dark lips, go for a dark eye. Always choose one focal point. Don’t do it altogether,” she says. “Don’t mix all the trends together—leave it to magazines and fashion shows. Go for one focal point and go with that, use your best features, and make them the center emphasis.”

Makeup Sleep . “No matter how sleepy you are, no matter how tired you are, always remove your makeup and wash your face before going to bed you won’t get breakouts, allergies, or clogged pores. That is the time when your skin rejuvenates and refreshes itself,” she says.

Fashion Faux Pas

Underwear Bomber. “People take underwear for granted but it really is the foundation of every outfit,” Bianca says. “There was one time, a girl bought granny panties, and the panties even had pockets where she can even place her cell phones.” Underwear keeps your clothes from being soiled, shapes your body and more important, should be concealed. Avoid display of your bra and panty lines.

Overage dressing. “You should dress age-appropriatel,” she says. “If you can work it and still have the body for skinny jeans, why not?” She explains that dressing age-appropriate means looking at circumstances. For example, if you are going to a PTA party, it is not exactly right to wear a plunging neckline and a backless blouse.

Overlooking dress codes. “Good taste is not just knowing about what nice is, it’s about what proper is. There is a moral conduct underlying all those clothes,” she says. “You also want people to like you kasi hindi ka agaw eksena, nasa lugar. Everything has its right place. That’s why there is always a dress code.”

FASH airs every Thursday at 10 p.m. on the Lifestyle Channel, Channel 52 on Sky Cable.

You Asked

Is the sun good or bad for my skin?

---- Rina, via Twitter

Socouer Oblepias, M.D. Answers

The sun is not all harmful because we need it for vitamin D, but sometimes overexposure can cause skin damage. Another concern would be aging skin. One of the cheapest preventive measures is a sun block, like the new Pond’s Flawless White Blemish Prevention UV Cream which prevents and lightens dark spots and has SPF 15. Putting powder on top of a sun block would actually put the sun block in place for a longer period of time than putting just sun block. It is ideal is to put the sun block first on top of the powder.

Socouer Oblepias, M.D. is a member of the Philippine Dermatological Society

The Queen of Talk Is the Queen of News

The Queen of Talk Is the Queen of News By ANA KRISTINE B. VALENZUELA Published September 2010 CAN’T deliver the news because I make too much news,” Kris Aquino said in an interview with Jessica Soho last year. Indeed, every move that Kris makes, people talk about. Her role as First Sister to her brother, President Benigno ‘Noynoy’Aquino, doesn’t give her much break from the media glare. We see her every day as she hosts Pilipinas Win na Win, television’s newest noontime bonanza. She’ll endorse a juice brand, and people will refer to it as ‘Yung juice na ine-endorse ni Kris.’ She’ll have an album and it will hit gold even before it gets a release date because of reservations. She’ll speak out about the latest issue about what she calls the teleserye of her life on TV and next thing you know she’s at the top of tomorrow’s headlines and the hot topic of Internet forums and office chitchats for weeks.

Like the ruckus of the Facebook page on Kris Aquino’s Despedida, as Kris did say that she will leave the country if she becomes an interference to her brother’s administration. But Kris paid it no heed. “Kagaya po ng pangakong iniwan ng Dad at Mom sa ating bayan, Noy, ikaw at ako ang nasa posisyon para ipagpatuloy ang lahat ng kanilang nasimulan. Noy, you know all that…during our last conversation with Mom, nangako ako sa kanya. Whatever support you needed, I will be there for you,” Kris said, addressing Noynoy during their mother’s burial rites. The latest controversy that the Queen of All Media is now facing is her separation from her husband, basketball star James Yap. Kris said that the decision to end her five-year marriage was not spur-of-the-moment. “Matagal naming sinubukan. James and I really tried to make this work. On my part, with finality, I can say ako ay sumuko na,” she said on The Buzz. “Kung anuman ang dahilan why this marriage, on my part, I’m saying it’s over, the only person I will owe an explanation to and the only person who can demand from me, ‘Bakit kayo naghiwalay?’ is my son,” she added, referring to her son from James, Baby James. According to Kris, she did not want to publicize the reason behind the failure of her marriage, but instead will tell Baby James her side of the story one day. She also hopes that her estranged husband will tell his side as well. “The worst thing I can do for Baby James is, when he’s 7 or 8 years old, and mahanap niya sa YouTube ‘yung explanation kung bakit naghiwalay ang nanay at tatay niya. He deserves much more than that. He deserves to hear it only from me and only from James,” she said. Kris is seeking legal separation from her husband. Her lawyers found some loopholes to nullify her marriage, such as that the civil rites taking place in Quezon City, with then Mayor Feliciano Belmonte presiding over the ceremony, but with Kris acquiring her marriage license from Makati City. Unfortunately, it seems like there is no more hope for a Kris-James reconciliation, as men are being associated with her left and right. Since her separation, she’s been romantically linked to Gabby Concepcion, Gerald Anderson, Coco Martin, Robin Padilla, Senator Chiz Escudero, and Makati Mayor Junjun Binay. Kris quickly dismissed these stories as mere hearsay but was also quick to praise her friend, Junjun Binay, who she met while she was grieving for her mother and he for his wife. “He’s been good to me. A true friend. Kung tatanungin n’yo ako, nasa kanya ‘yung mga qualities that I admire in a man,” she said. Kris, however, wasn’t shy about hinting on the possibility of romance, saying “Ito, kinaklaro ko po, next year... pag alam ko na okay na ako, na I’m sure naitayo ko na ang Pilipinas, Win Na Win!, kung alam ko na kumportable na ang mga kapatid ko na mag-entertain ako o makipag-date ako, kung lahat sila hindi na naha-heart attack at naha-high blood sa the mere thought of it. And ang pinaka-importante, kung sigurado ako na si Josh at si Bimby well-adjusted. And if Junjun were to say, ‘Kris, gusto mo bang mag-dinner?’ I’d say yes. Why? Dahil alam ko na hindi niya ako lolokohin.” Well, we all have to wait and see on what will happen with Kris’s marriage to James and her friendship with Junjun. Whatever it might be, whatever move she makes, it is guaranteed: it will be news. And people will be talking about it. Vicki Belo on Kris: Kris is intelligent. I don’t think people get it because of the way she talks, but she’s smart. The nice thing about her is she’s an active endorser. She’s the one who thinks of ideas on how to promote the (Belo) clinic and then she goes like, “You should do this, you should do that.” Ang dami niyang input and she’s fun to have around. She’s also observant and goes down to the nitty-gritty level. Just recently, she texted me, “You should get (Pilipinas Got Talent winner) Jovit (Baldivino) because I think he’ll be like Nora Aunor in popularity. He’s really good, but he has bad skin and you can fix it.” Talagang may malasakit siya sa clinic and she’s the same with other products she endorses like Goldilocks. She was telling me, “You know their cake is good, you should try it.” Nakakatuwa. Of course, she’s also a good opinion maker.

Sweet Buys

Two hours tops, thats all it takes for me to finish a ninety page book. I didn't care whether my parents would be ordering pizza with everything on it, which is my favorite food on the world. All I cared about was finishing the book and knowing what would happen to Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield and their friends, all characters of the book series Sweet Valley Twins. I was so enthralled in the words that I was reading that i wanted to find out what is next and at the same time i didn't want it to end.

But that was then, back when i was still in Grade five. Now, the hundred books that I have collected through the years are now unread and collecting dust on the corner of my room. I was in need of money and my mother was again and again complaining about the stuff in my room. So it came to me that I needed to unload and maybe sell some of my things.

I wasn't sure of how to buy nor sell online but I have heard of sulit.com.ph from friends who have worked in Sales. They say that it a great retail machinery, a quick way to sell things and buy things at an affordable price. So having been a member after this good recommendation, I decided to give sulit a try and sell some of my most valued books.

As I have said before, I am a newbie in the virtual retail industry. I merely followed the pattern that sellers did as I posted my own ad for my books. Some sellers opt to ship while some some would prefer to meet with their buyers, so being located in the heart of the city, i decided to just trust my instincts and place my number for a possible meetup.

I guess trust---in sulit.com.ph---place a crucial role in my first sell. As a new seller, i didn't know what i would encounter, i haven't even bought anything online. Still trusting sulit.com.ph, that they know their users well and it wouldn't place me any harm, made me post my number thus making me profit.

I sold my sweet Valley books to two different buyers from sulit.com.ph. I know that this girls would be flipping through the pages that i once enjoyed.

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Women Breadwinners: When You Make More Money Than Him

By ANA KRISTINE B. VALENZUELA

MOD August 2010

“MORE and more families think out of the box, or in a non-traditional way. It is acceptable that roles can be interchanged because of the realities of financial woes,” says Dr. Edgardo Juan Tolentino, head of the psychiatry department at the Makati Medical Center.

Today’s mothers seem to be top executives. More and more women are becoming breadwinners of their household, while the husbands play the role of caregivers to their children. “In the Philippines, to a certain extent, our society is matriarchal. That we have had two female presidents speaks of our acceptance of the woman being empowered,” Tolentino says.

Society views may have changed, but how does that affect your relationship with your man when you earn more money than him? “Always look at the value of what the other person contributes,” Dr. Tolentino advises. “To put it at a smarter perspective, money is important, but look at what both spouses contribute. Even though he (the husband) doesn’t give in as much money, he also shares something else.”

MOD COLLECTION

Factors that may have brought upon this type of relationship:

1. Changes in social standard. “There is a change in tradition,” says Dr. Tolentino. “We are now open to a different perspective as we are highly influenced by the Internet. We are able to see other models of relationships, not just the traditional.” We see marriages such as that of Julia Roberts and cameraman Danny Moder which makes us open to a type of relationship where the woman earns more.

2. Personality. “If the man is highly secure with himself and he sees the need to earn, his self esteem is not related to his earnings,” he says.

3. Migration. “The women have greater opportunities to work in other countries as nurses, or domestic helpers. That’s another factor why they have greater earning capacity than the males,” he says.

4. Intermarriages. According to Dr. Tolentino, the Spanish and American colonization and Chinese culture greatly influenced our own. Filipinos have a lot of models of different relationships to choose from.

Advantages of wives as breadwinners

1. Acceptance of switch of roles. “Roles can be interchanged. The man, as long as he is secure with himself, can be highly important even though he is not working. He can take the househusband role, managing the household chores, helping the children with their homework and driving them to school,” explains Dr. Tolentino.

2. Allows for a greater breath of expressing roles. “There is not much pressure as long as both of you and your man are secure that each one is fulfilling an important role,” Dr. Tolentino says. “If you stick to the traditional roles, the doors for cash opportunities might close.”

3. Balance of power. “In any relationship, you will always expect a power balance. Society has put too much value on who holds the purse or who holds the power. But power is something to be shared,” he says. “Even though the man is working, it is expected that he gives the money to the woman. So when there is a reversal of roles, she also gets to budget. It’s not untraditional. It is always the woman who budgets and decides on how to spend it. But today, there are some models, in which the woman shares with the househusband the budgeting. She has the option to modify the expenditures.”

Disadvantages of wives as breadwinners

1. External pressure. “This could be because of the cultural and traditional values of the family,” he says. The man may feel powerless because he is earning less.

2. Internal Pressure “If there are personality problems, like the man is insecure or the woman is domineering, the wife may ask questions like, ‘Why am I the one working? Why am I the one bringing home the bacon?’” he explains.

Angel Locsin: Where She’s Putting Her Money

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Angel Locsin: Where She’s Putting Her Money

By ANA KRISTINE B. VALENZUELA PUBLISHED MOD August 2010
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ANGEL Locsin has already proven herself well in showbiz so she endeavors on a new enterprise where she is putting her well earned money. And she is taking with her the things she learned from the entertainment industry as she fulfills a new role of an entrepreneur.

The actress recently ventured into the food industry by opening her own bar and KTV in Quezon City, which is called Fuel Up. “It’s my first time to do this, to engage in a business, specifically a bar. Lately I’ve been going out a lot because I really don’t know what the people are looking for. The crowd in Makati is different from the crowd in Quezon City, right?”

It is not only research that Angel is doing, as when it comes to her business, she is hands-on. “There are times that I go to the bar and oversee things. I even mix drinks. Of course it’s just a new business. I really have to assist my staff and we need to work hand in hand. We are like one big family there,” she says.

She fondly recalls one incident when she gladly helped out. “There was one time we were shorthanded, and our bartender needed assistance. Our customers wanted some drinks and to take pictures with me. Then, I thought, hmm… why don’t I help out? I asked them, ano gusto n’yo? Our sales went double that night. Every time someone would take a picture they would need to drink beer or take a shot first. It was fun, tapos na-enjoy naman nila, kasi ako ‘ yung nagmi-mix talaga,” she says.

Of course like any regular establishment, Fuel Up also encounters some dilemmas. She shares, “One time, there was a group who went on a field trip in our bar. We didn’t know what to do. Kasi ‘di ba, why would you have field trip in a bar? They were all minors. If we turned them away, they would be offended. Also, our regulars and walk-in customers were there. Even though they were so many-- a bus full! --they weren’t really ordering much. Probably because they were still minors. So we just talked to them and stated our rules. Of course some were offended. But we really needed to do that.”

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“Success is not all luck. There are certain opportunities that pass us by, may mga tsamba, but then you also have to prove yourself,” Angel says. Of course we know that Angel proved herself well by not passing by opportunities such as the youth show Click, and in the fantasy series Mulawin where she played Alwina. Even more, she proved her acting prowess via an Emmy nomination for her role as she-wolf in the teleserye Lobo.

Up next for Angel is a movie with Aga Muhlach, tentatively titled Huling Sayaw, where she plays the role of a pole dancer ."When I was offered the role, my reaction was, ‘Are you sure that it is me you want to cast?’ In this movie, I had to do everything that I didn’t want to do, as in lahat.” Angel says. To prep up for the role, she had to take up pole dancing lessons.

“You wouldn’t be able to last in the entertainment industry if you don’t have the talent, proper attitude, and if you don’t work your fingers to the bone,” Angel says.

With this kind of outlook, it is no wonder why she has many projects and endorsements, among them top retail brand Folded and Hung and canned goods giant Century Tuna.

“Some think that showbiz is all glitz and glamour,” she says. “No, it’s not just that. There are days when you don't feel the emotion the director calls for, but you just have to emote it. That’s how draining the work is.”

Problems such as having minors in a bar you own or being cast in a challenging role may be a regular rough patch on the road, but this girl can seem to solve them well, with a dose of talent and a shot of perseverance. “It just takes hard work for you to do your job well. Research, be on time, and be professional,” she says.

Angel Talks Fitness and Money
What’s your daily diet like?
I have to have a cheat day, where in I eat whatever I want. Before, I chow down on a lot of junk food, but now, I don’t eat as much anymore. I stopped eating junk food this year.
Do you have a sports regimen?
I do biking and belly dancing.
How about your exercise regimen?
I jog. I work out. There’s a video called Insanity. You should watch it. The workout is super intense. It is not that new, but it is slowly gaining a following.
How do you budget your money?
I have an accountant who helps me with my budget. I don’t spend that much. I only treat myself with food actually and, oh yeah, shoes. If I don’t need something then I won’t buy it. I keep my payments in the bank and withdraw cash only if needed.
What is one thing that you are saving for?
I already have a house, so I’d like to have more investments.
Define Wealth
I am rich in family and friends. I consider myself blessed for having that kind of family who supports me. At the same time, they don’t tolerate the bad things that I do. They treat you as a normal person and not as a celebrity